Archive for the ‘Advice’ Category

How To Speak Up On Sensitive, Personal Issues Without Damaging Relationships

Monday, November 17th, 2008

Some of the most difficult conversations that we face are to do with personal issues, in relationships where we do not want to offend or hurt the other person. It could be as simple as telling a colleague that you find their jokes offensive. If you do not speak up, the person will not know that you are offended, and will continue with their behaviour. You will continue to take offense, becoming more and more upset as time goes on.

One day, when you have had enough, you burst out. You say things in anger, you accuse, you threaten. Your behaviour may indeed stop the jokes but it will also probably put an end to any easy relationship between you and your colleague. It may also damage how you are seen by others.

There is a way to handle difficult conversations like this one. It is based on making the conversation safe. When it is safe to talk, you can speak up about almost anything. Think what you would say if your best friend or your favorite sister said something you found offensive. You would probably speak your mind, and it would probably result in: I am sorry! Nothing more would be necessary.

The problem is how to make a conversation safe when you do not have a very close relationship with someone.

Consider this background. A new person has recently joined your team. In conversation, he told a joke that you found extremely offensive. You did not know what to say at the time, but now you feel you must speak to him, not only because you were embarrassed, but because you sense others felt the same way. This is not the kind of talk your team uses.

The first question you must ask yourself is whether you really need to speak up. How sure are you that others feel the same? Are you being overly sensitive? However, it is better to speak up now than to withdraw from the person, maybe talk about him behind his back, and get more and more upset about his behaviour.

If you decide to speak up, you need to be clear why you are having the conversation. If it is only to convey your judgment and accusation, the other person will immediately feel accused and the conversation will become unsafe. When people feel accused, they defend themselves, and you will end up in a damaging argument that you will wish you had never started.

If, on the other hand, you intend to offer your observations and to discuss your differing views, your good intentions will be reflected in your tone of voice, facial expression and body language. When your intentions are sincere, you are not in danger of coming across as judgmental and accusing, and the conversation will be safe.

Open the conversation by describing the facts of the situation: that your work group consists of people from all kinds of backgrounds; you all show a general respectfulness toward each other; you understand that the person is new to the team.

Then you might say: When you told the joke about (label it briefly) in front of everyone at lunch yesterday, I was surprised. We do not talk like that in our team. I felt a bit offended and I sensed that others might have been upset too.

That is all you have to say. You have been honest and direct without any accusation. Then you should invite the other person into the conversation with an open question: How do you see it.

If you have succeeded in making the conversation safe up to this point it should result in your being able to discuss the matter comfortably, and being able to agree on how things should be in future.
Your colleague will better understand the kind of behaviour that is inappropriate in the team and will probably appreciate that you spoke to him when you did.

When you learn to speak up on difficult issues you give people an opportunity to change their behaviour and you are unlikely to damage your working relationship with them. When you know how to make it safe to talk, you can talk about almost anything.

Maureen Collins has a B.Sc. degree in Psychology from Edinburgh University and over 25 years of consulting experience. She specialises in communication in the workplace. In Straight Talk, she trains people how to handle difficult conversations, on difficult topics, with difficult people. Get free Straight Talk Tips. http://www.straight-talk.co.za

Discover The Ultimate Path To Personal And Professional Development

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008

The path to personal and professional development is about learning how to improve yourself and grow. Personal development requires a personal change. It depends upon what your interests, dreams and goals are. There is undoubtedly a link between personal and professional development. You cannot achieve your dream without this.

Deciding what exactly you want to do with your life and career must be your first step towards personal and professional development. Once you have decided which career to take up, you have to figure out how to get there, and how you will obtain your ultimate dream.

There are several resources that you can take up to improve your personal development. There are part time courses that you can take up through colleges or universities. The better option would be to continue your professional development through online courses available, so that you can follow a flexible schedule that allows you to work around your career.

There are many resources to aid you build your path towards your development. The internet is an excellent resource for personal and professional development. Online provides a multitude of options such as life courses, life coaches and online tutoring. There is also free information available on self improvement.

You can find many books, websites and magazines that will help you. You can also hire a personal and professional development coach or trainer. These professionals will help you in your self assessment. Personal development seminars are designed to teach you a new way to see your life. The possibilities for success in areas such as professional or personal development become endless through seminars. The point of seminars is to empower you.

Recognizing your obstacles and how to overcome them is something that you need to concentrate on for your personal development. The best thing you can do to overcome obstacle is surrounding yourself with positive thoughts and motivating support system removing all the negative thoughts within you.

You must always set up a timeline for achieving your goals towards personal and professional development. Setting goals and creating a timeline for success is a great way to advance your personality. Once you have set your goals and created a timeline for success, you are sure to reach the summit in personal and professional development.

If you ever find doubting yourself in your personal and professional development success and want to improve your career then visit the website and know more about it.

Are you having a dream of becoming an Inspirational speaker then, do not worry at all? Here is a website Personal development which helps people to fulfill their dreams. So, enroll now to get connected to your dreams and discover how your dreams turn into reality with the art of success.

Truth about Bad Breath and Symptoms

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Bad breath or halitosis is a problem everyone has had at some time or another. No one really escapes this inevitable event. Bad breath is notoriously caused by certain foods - for instance, garlic, onions and some fish - and by diets rich in fat and meat. When these foods are digested, the smelly metabolites pass to the lungs where they are exhaled. It is not contagious, meaning you cannot catch it from someone else. Chronic bad breath, known as halitosis, does not come from the stomach.

This horible smell and sour tongue may be symptoms of a larger problem. It is known as a common health problem in the society tday. Offenssive smell from the mouth may be due to various reasons. Bad breath is frequently mentioned in Jewish scripture “The Talmud” stating that if you were a “Cohen” (a priest) you couldn’t perform holy duties on the Temple if he had a unpleasant smell from his mouth.

Bad breath (halitosis) can cause embarrassment, create social and psychological barriers, and even affect marriages. The majority of this problems begin in the mouth. It can be caused by something as simple as the fact that your kitty just polished off a can of tuna. Your cat should not, however, have long bouts of having this stinking smell.

Bad breath home remedies can help you find a cure for that. It is pretty common but can be fixed with some simple home remedies. There is no need to offend those you care about with foul smelling breath.

This condition typically occurs when bacteria build up on your gums, tongue, teeth or other areas of your mouth and it comes from the intestines.

Bad breath is also associated with sinus infections because nasal discharge from your sinuses into the back of your throat can cause mouth odor. A child with this symptoms may have a foreign object lodged in his or her nose.

Bad breath also may occur in people who have an infection, gum disease, diabetes, kidney failure, or a liver malfunction. Xerostomia (dry mouth) and tobacco also contribute to this problem. Having this disorder can make you the source of ridicule, branding you as “dragon breath” or “dog breath.”.

Come to think of it, almost any noun paired with the word “breath” is a potential bad breath insult. However, it may be temporarily reduced by using a hydrogen peroxide rinse. Hydrogen peroxide at a concentration of 1.5% can be taken as an oral antiseptic by gargling 10 ml, about two teaspoons .

When your breath stinks is caused by odor-producing bacteria that grow in the mouth. When you don’t brush and floss regularly, bacteria accumulate on the bits of food left in your mouth and between your teeth. Bad Breath is very closely related to post- nasal drip, excess mucus, sinus problems, your tonsils, and tonsiloliths.

This disorder or Halitosis is due to bacteria in the mouth breaking down proteins to Volatile Sulphur Compounds that smell. These bad breath sulphur compounds are actually the waste products from the bacteria.

Bad breath tends to be noticed by other people first, and it may be difficult for them to tell you that you have it without embarrassing them or you. You may therefore have to rely on a close friend or family member to tell you that you have bad breath.

It is an embarrassing situation that many people encounter. One may feel that if they are brushing and flossing there is nothing they can do aside from breath spray and mints to, at best, camouflage the odor. Bad breath is a result of sulfur gas created from the breakdown of proteins found in food. Bad breath and smoking can still be cured. But for the meantime, try to use certain mouthwashes to freshen your breath after smoking.

Kristine is the great enthusiast of Article writing and the owner of the Article Feed
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Relationship Success Strategies - Do You Operate on Values, Integrity and Purpose?

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

I was preparing for a couple of presentations for the Women On the Way (W.O.W.) program at our local St. Petersburg College (my A.A./A.S. degree alma mater).

I am always honored to go back to my old “stomping grounds” to do presentations, but even more so for this group, as most of the people connected with the WOW program are coming back to school after some major life transition.

This program is designed to be a support for their success. They are my heroes, as they all use this support network to help each other be successful.

I do believe the world could learn something from WOW.

The workshop that I was presenting was entitled The Secrets Of Relationship Success: Know Your Roots and Bear Good Fruit. I like to use acronyms when I present, as they are easy for me to remember, and they seem to have a lasting impression on the audience.

There were two that came up that have been very helpful: V.I.P. and S.A.D.

The standard V.I.P. is traditionally translated to Very Important Person, but for the purpose of this workshop it stood for Values, Integrity and Purpose. I believe these three elements build the “foundational triad” which enables us to have fulfilling and lasting relationships. Let me elaborate…

- Values - This is what you determine to be most important in your life. When you know your values, it is easier to make decisions because you know what fits and what doesn’t. Therefore, decisions about what to do, who to share your life with, and when to exit due to a values clash, all become much clearer.

Spend some time this week and write down your ten highest values. Check in with your values list regularly.

- Integrity - Integrity is the path that you walk according to your values. When your actions (your “outer self”) match your values (your “inner self”) you are walking a path of integrity. Integrity comes from the word that means “wholeness”, therefore you live a more whole, or complete life when you stay in your integrity. This path leaves you feeling good about yourself as you will not disrespect your own values as long as you stay on the path.

Write two lists of behavioral indicators; one that reminds you of when you are in integrity, and the other that lets you know when you are leaving your integrity. Review the list daily and commit yourself to the path of integrity.

- Purpose - Your purpose is your own personal “True North”. It becomes the compass of your Life Journey that pulls you forward to your Highest Good. When you know your life purpose, and you live on purpose, you are fulfilled and have an “inner knowing” that you are going in the direction that you will serve you and humankind the best.

Spend some time with the following: The purpose of my life is ___________. Keep working it until it is a perfect “10″ for you. Then, make it a daily mantra that you live by.

On the flipside of V.I.P. is S.A.D…

- Selfless - People who do not know their values or their purpose have difficulty being true to themselves, much less walking their own Life Path. By default, they often succumb to what others value and often find themselves being pulled from one direction to another. They are controlled much of the time by outer influences instead of their inner self.

- Assuming - Because these people have a poor sense of their self, they live by making many assumptions. They often assume that if someone shows them attention or affection, it must be a good thing since it feels good, and they can easily get into a relationship or situation that is unhealthy. They have a poor “filtering” or screening system since they do not know who they really are.

- Dependant - These people are prone to become very dependant. They allow others to make their choices for them. They take on others values. They become fearful of others leaving them due to their dependency, so they often give up more and more of their self the longer they stay involved.

When you live the V.I.P. life, you leave no space to be S.A.D. So…Are you living a V.I.P. or a S.A.D. life?

My vote and encouragement is to put all your energy into being the V.I.P. that you were truly meant to be. After all, you are a Very Important Person…WOW!!

Ken Donaldson has been offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His programs are focused on empowering people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships. Claim your FREE Relationship Success Special Report at Marry YourSelf First!. Ken is the author of Marry YourSelf First! Saying “I DO” to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose.

How Would You Enjoy An E-Guide For Love?

Friday, October 17th, 2008

That’s right, there actually is such a thing and its right with in your reach! This is a important guide for individuals that are either searching to get back with their exes and repair the troubles they had in that kinship, or if you are looking to get into a new relationship and acquire hints on that as well. I’m definitely no stranger to love but, I often wonder of how great it would be if something like this was accessible! And then just the other day I encountered it on a internet site I was on. Something like this could make your love life a whole lot simpler, its sort of like hiring your very own private dating coach revealing to you just which move you need to do next and what you can expect to come from that move!

There are so many reasons lovers break up and so many people who have gone through at least one breakup. Some are actually a good thing. Some are not! If you have ever been down this road, whether you caused the split or it was done to you, then you know it can be a very emotional time. When I first heard about these guides I really thought they were a bunch of BS, I mean really what could you possibly learn from reading one of these guides that you didn’t already know!?! Well the latest statistics claim roughly 60% of marriages end in divorce. If a bond such as marriage can be broken I would hate to even know the percentage rate for people just breaking up and being boyfriend/girlfriend! Break ups happen for all sorts of reasons but the most general reason is simple because the couple doesn’t understand each other and this in turn causes a lot of unneeded fighting!

What if you could find a way to communicate your feelings to your partner? Well, this is partly what these love guides are for! Here’s a few other things you might be asking yourself, and if you are you might want to consider trying one of these love guides:

Things are tough right now, can we really repair the damage?
I have already broken up with my lover, can I get them back?
I am having a hard time moving on after a bad break up, what can I do?
I just don’t know how to act towards the opposite sex, is there hope for me?

If your having problems, any various amounts of problems, this is the perfect type of book for you! I have actually had some free previews of books such as these from the sellers, and they really aren’t all “cheese” there is some really great information in here to help you or your lover out. It really is a relationship/therapist in a box, except it’s a whole lot cheaper, lemme tell ya! If you don’t take a look at these packages you really are missing out on something superb!

This author is a HUGE fan of how to get back with your ex

How Would You Like An E-Manual For Love?

Friday, October 17th, 2008

Yep, it’s true, there really is such a thing and you can get your hands on it! This is a great book for people that are either looking to get back with their exes and fix the problems they had in that relationship, or if you are looking to get into a new relationship and want tips on that as well. I’m definitely no stranger to love but, I often think of how nice it would be if something like this was available and, then just the other day I happened to find it on a website I was on. Something like this could make your life a whole lot easier, its sort of like having your very own personal dating coach telling you exactly which move you need to make next and what you can expect to come from that move!

So where exactly can you find something like this and how much is it going to cost? Well one great thing about these manuals is that even though it gives you advice like a personal relationship expert would, its’ not going to cost you as much as it would if you hired someone like that on to help you. I have seen these manuals for various priced, anywhere from $100 down to $10, it really just depends on where you look and who is selling the e-book. As far as where to find these books, well, you can actually find them everywhere online where you can find a “romantic” or “love” type site. I found a few today just by going to my search engine and looking for certain things. The pure convenience of these books is pretty fantastic, plus with e-books either free or paid, you don’t have to wait for them to send your book, you just pay, go to the member’s area and voila download your e-book in seconds. Pretty cool huh?

As said above, these books include everything you would ever want or need an a manual to love, but they also might include other things depending on where you get the book from. Some of these books include what we like to call bonuses! Hey, who doesn’t love free stuff, I know I do! It doesn’t matter what level you are on, or how broken your heart is this is definitely something you need to Check out, you won’t be disappointed! Good luck!

This author is a HUGE fan of How To get Back With Your Ex

A Guide For Choosing The Right Psychotherapist for You

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

Some people think that going to a therapist is like going to a car mechanic: they expect the therapist to diagnose a specific problem and fix it just as the mechanic puts in new brake pads or readjusts the carburetor. These clients expect something to happen to them. That is not the case. Don’t expect the other person to have all the answers. Therapists don’t come with crystal balls. You have the answers. They are already within you. The psychotherapist helps you discover those answers as you examine your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. I think of therapy as education. In therapy you may learn new skills to help you communicate better, decrease difficulties in your life and increase benefits.

Don’t be afraid to shop around for a good match between you and your therapist. No matter how well trained the therapist is, if you are not at ease with her or willing to talk about personal problems or feelings, you will be wasting your money. Trust your intuition.

When my daughter was a teenager I was a single parent in a quandary about how to deal with her behavior. I wasn’t a therapist at that time, and our small family was in turmoil. I found a psychologist who was well known and highly credentialed. After two family counseling sessions with him I cringed at the thought of going back, but I told myself that he knew what he was doing since he was so well known. Fortunately, my daughter trusted her intuition and absolutely refused to go back under any circumstances. It turned out that none of us liked him or felt comfortable with him. We found someone else that we liked and trusted and got better results.

About a year later I bumped into an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in a long time. She looked happy, and excitedly reported that she had the most wonderful therapist. He had helped her change her life. When I asked who it was, she gave me the name of the man my family had hated. The lesson here is not that someone you don’t like isn’t a good therapist, it’s that someone you don’t feel comfortable with is not the right person for you. Ask your insurance company for more than one referral just in case, so you can choose wisely.

If you have a friend or family member who raves about their therapist, take the recommendation seriously only if your friends or family have shown significant and visible changes in behavior and attitudes during their therapy.

Once doctors have finished their basic training they can continue with specialty trainings to become surgeons, obstetricians, cardiologists, and more. This is not the case with psychotherapists. Most psychologists, marriage and family therapists and social workers get basic training plus the equivalent of an internship before they take their license exam. Those who are interested in specific areas like addiction, bi-polar disorder, eating disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety disorders etc. must get additional training on their own.

When you meet with a new therapist, it is OK to ask direct questions about his background. Ask what qualifies him to be a specialist in the problem you want help with. When you go to a medical specialist you want to see a doctor who has seen hundreds of cases or be operated on by a surgeon who has done the procedure you are having hundreds of times. It is the same with mental health professionals

Beware of a therapist who acts like a judgmental parent. My client Mary eloped with someone she had dated only twice, just before her thirty-fifth birthday. The marriage immediately fell apart. As Mary told me about this awful experience, she reported that when she was in her twenties and went for therapy following a romantic breakup, her psychiatrist said, “If you aren’t married before you are 35 you never will be!” She took his word as the word of God and unconsciously jumped into the disastrous marriage before it was too late.

The most critical factor in successful therapy is the development of a positive, trusting and understanding relationship with your therapist. Don’t settle for less.

Gloria Arenson, MFT, treats stress, anxiety, trauma, phobias, and compulsions. She has authored How to Stop Playing the Weighting Game, A Substance Called Food, Born To Spend, Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing, Freedom At Your Fingertips and Procrastination Nation.
http://www.GloriaArenson.com

Make Love Not War; E-Books Teach You How To Make Your Relationships Work!

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

There are actual e-books, audio Cd’s and love guides you can find online to woo the opposite sex. This is also a great thing to look into if you want to get your ex back! These love packages, include all the burning answers and questions you only wish you knew about such as how to salvage a relationship and how to move on after a broken heart. You should check these packages out if you have ever run into the following problems with a former or present flame:

You are still together, and your spouse is cheating

You are separated, and your spouse left you for another person & you want them back

You are still together, but your spouse keeps leaving you for someone else

You are still together, but your spouse does not let you sleep in the same bed with them

You are still together, and your spouse is very abusive towards you

These e-books are especially made for getting your ex back but like I said above it can also be used for everything. Personally I think the creators of this e-book did a good thing when they chose to incorporate different needs for different people because not everyone wants to get back with their ex, and not everyone wants to move on! So really they wrote this book for a various number of people in all sorts of different situations. So exactly what is included in this book? Well let’s see there’s an e-book, an e-guide, two MP3 Cd’s, and another guide book, the products listed below are what is included with this lovely package along with a little description to help you decide if this is the package for you or not!

The Widely Acclaimed Strategical system for Getting Your Ex Back - This is an incredible scientific system for recognizing your “damage points” and identifying what needs to be done to address them. You will be able to discover what is missing in your relationship, what is causing the problems and misunderstandings, and what you will need to do to prove to your ex that he or she is not complete without you!

The Official Step-by-Step Love Guide - This love manual contains complete step-by-step instructions on how to get your spouse or loved one back in your life again and make your relationship stronger than ever.

Expert MP3 Audio Instruction - Easily applied, this is the best way to pick up these brilliant tactics which will make you a master at relationships.

Powerful Psychological Triggers & Seductive Phrases - Are you ready for the best love phrases and terms ever? This section is completely bursting with beautiful and heartwarming phrases that could melt the coldest heart. Whether you need to ask for a second chance, explain how you feel, or show the strength of your love.

101 ways to mess up everything CD - Learn what not to do in a relationship!

Relationship Salvager - If you have already broken up with your spouse it is not too late, thanks to our Relationship Salvager system! There are still ways to win them back!

Needless to say it has everything you would ever need! If this sounds like something you would like to buy or would like to know more information about, it’s a good idea to visit your local search engine and look there for more information and prices on this really useful package!

This author is a HUGE fan of How to get back with your ex

Saving Money, Finding Yourself

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

Everyone’s worried about the economy these days, and with good reason. Middle-class people are shopping less, saving money by cutting out small luxuries, and delaying larger purchases. If you’ve always been comfortably middle-class, or if you’ve had to struggle in the past, putting yourself on a tight budget may seem depressing. But there are benefits to saving money that go beyond your bank account.

Your possessions don’t have to define you:

Are you bummed out because you can’t afford that super-light laptop or designer handbag? Saving money means putting off these types of purchases for the foreseeable future. But did it ever occur to you that this may be a good thing?

While you’re saving money by not shopping, you’ll have plenty of time to ponder what role possessions play in your sense of self. Shiny new objects make us feel good in the short term. When that feeling wears off, it’s time to go shopping again — or it’s an opportunity to look at our real selves, at who we are without the labels and logos.

You can find other ways to reward yourself:

You’ve had a long week, you’ve worked hard, and now you’d really like to reward yourself with a trip to the mall. But you can’t — you’re saving money. What to do instead?

We’re all familiar with the saying, “Time is money”. We’re so focused on churning out the dollars every waking moment that we rarely consider time as a gift. While we’re saving money, we can give the gift of time to ourselves. What if you gave yourself a whole Saturday afternoon to relax, read, walk, write in your journal? This is a reward that costs nothing, and it’ll do more to shore up your sense of self-worth than anything you could buy.

You can be a better friend, partner, and parent:

What would you and your family do without a hundred cable channels, the latest video games, an endless stream of DVDs, cell phones with a zillion gadgets? Once the complaints about saving money die down, you just might learn to enjoy each other’s company. Young children could be convinced that Monopoly is a really cool new game. Your teenagers might even join in. Think of a quieter, simpler household: fewer distractions, more talk and laughter.

If saving money means fewer distractions, your relationships with your partner, your friends, your parents, and your siblings could benefit. With less money to spend on lavish get-togethers, expensive restaurants, and the gift-giving frenzy of Christmas and birthdays, you’ll have more opportunities to talk, and to listen.

There’s no denying that an economic downturn brings justifiable worry about everything from mortgages to college and retirement funds. But when it comes to cutting down on discretionary spending, saving money may be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Robin Matuk is an Internet Business Coach who addresses the needs of entrepreneurs and business owners looking to maximize the power of the Internet to build, manage, and grow a thriving business. She is the founder of My Digital Coach, a blogger at Creating with Impact and a Community Builder at The Big Idea Community.

The Fine Art of Approaching, Attracting and Seducing Beautiful Women

Friday, October 10th, 2008

Have you ever seen those guys that just seem to attract women to them wherever they go? They walk into a room and instantly “own” the place. They have charisma and charm and you even find yourself looking at them. They’re mysteriously attractive and you know it - you’re probably even jealous of it. Why is it though that some men have this “natural aura of attraction” while others don’t. Is it possible to learn how to be attractive or is it just something they’re born with.

The truth is being attractive is something we are all born with. It’s the way of the world and is vital for the survival of the species. The problem is we learn things from society that mask and hide this natural attraction to the world. Some men learn the right things - and they are attractive to women, others learn all the wrong things and couldn’t pick up a lady in a chinese whore house. The good news is the art of attraction can be learned - you just need to know what to work on. That’s where Get Girls Easily comes in.

No longer do you need to be a fumbling mess when it comes to women. In fact if your determined enough you can have women flocking to you and APPROACHING YOU - not the other way around. In fact, this is what nature intended. In nature the male does not approach the women. Instead, he displays his masculinity and the women compete for his “love juice”. Us humans however have messed things right up and reversed this role. Slowly but surely women have been made out to be something special, and wussy men on TV have brainwashed us into being “girly men”. Some men experience instant anxiety at the thought of approaching a beautiful women.

Let’s take a look at a classic example in nature - the peacock. The male peacock has brightly coloured feathers that serve no other purpose other than attracting females. The male simply struts his stuff and displays his masculinity while the females flock to him. Humans should be no different.

If you’d like to learn how to become this “alpha male” who’s full of masculinity and attracts women like nature intended - stick around. I’ll be sharing tips on how to approach women, how to seduce good looking women, and how to be more attractive. All of this can be learned, but you can’t just read and study and expect to get results - you need to practice and experience as well. This can be tough for some men because your self confidence and self esteem may be extremely low. I will be helping you conquer this too. After all, if you aren’t confident and have low self esteem - women will sense this and won’t find you attractive. Women are very emotional creatures and they pick up on things that men just shrug off or miss altogether.

Being more attractive and being able to approach and seduce beautiful women is a skill every man can enjoy. Your life is meant to be filled with women - it is absolutely essential for the survival of our species (at least at one time it was). Stop what you’re doing right now and imagine spending a night with the girl of your dreams, a night that she insisted on - not you. Sound good? I thought so. And all this is NOT to good to be true. Start living your dreams and stop being a “girly man” who’s scared of women.

Permission to reprint provided by Get Girls Easily . At Get Girls Easily you will find tons of great advice on how to approach women, how to seduce women, and all kinds of other attraction secrets that will help put your love life in overdrive.

Learn How Subliminal Message Software Can Re-Program Your Psyche

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

If you have ever explored means to better yourself personally or professionally, chances are you have come across millions of people who have had success with positive affirmations. Essentially this is repeating positive words and goals over and over again. Eventually the phrases reach your subconscious mind and then become reality. Okay I know this sounds like a bunch of hocus pocus but it does work, and it has been proven it does work! There’s a saying that the only people that trash ideas, are the ones that are too scared to even try them! Are you one of those people?

There’s only one immediate problem with affirmations. Most of the time we have grown to become so negative and critical of ourselves that even if we promise ourselves that we will try to do these affirmations, we fail. It’s our mind saying things like “you can’t do this, you can’t do anything else, why would you be able to do something this easy?” or the ever annoying “this isn’t going to help you, nothing will, you will always be a loser.”

While this may not be true, our brain is again, so used to use criticizing ourselves, it can’t possibly take something positive in and keep it as being positive, it has to turn it into something negative. So what can you do instead?

Well rather than repeat the same set phrases every day, there are actually tools to help distribute messages straight to your subconscious mind allowing you to listen to the pre-programmed words. Although our cognizant psyche can only concentrate on one or two things at a time, our subconscious mind can take in everything all at once.

Therefore, our conscious mind can’t really hear the messages being played, but our subconscious can! It’s the old flick of the wrist type deal. Tricking your mind into listening to these phrases without actually telling it to listen to the phrases.

So what can these tools help you accomplish exactly? Pretty much anything you want. If you want to have more self-confidence, more money, be better at work, become successful, become more attractive, smarter, funnier, if you want to attract love, a soul mate, etc. Recently I saw a program made by Nelson Berry, creator of the world renowned Intelligent Warrior Subliminal Videos, and the highly acclaimed $5K Per Day Subliminal Videos.

These videos quickly became popular because they work, and results can be seen in just minutes a day! We need a fast and easy way to raise our vibrational level to match that which we wish to bring into our lives through the law of attraction, as depicted in the movie “The Secret”, and as practiced throughout the ages by the seemingly privileged few.

I’m a little biased when it comes to this stuff because I do believe in the law of attraction, positive affirmations, and the movie “The Secret” because I have followed these things and still to this day follow these things and my life has changed immensely and it’s constantly changing.

I went from living in a one bedroom apartment in a not so great part of town, to owning a 4 bedroom townhouse in a great town, and I went from being a Chef and hating my job and making lousy pay, to working in the comfort of my home and making a really good income. Not only did my life change, but I changed. Your life can change as well.

You don’t have to be a certain “type” of person for this stuff to work for you. What you need to do is have an understanding, a little bit of faith/hope and a belief that things can change with will, progress, and hard work. And the subliminal tools can help move you towards achieving that, among many other great things.

Most importantly, these tools don’t cost you an arm and a leg. They are readily available to anyone. So, are you ready to change your life into something more sumptuous? Or do you want to stay where you are? Hopefully you choose to better yourself, your life, and those around you. If you take this first step, I can almost guarantee that your life will be ever changing! Take the leap! You won’t regret it!

This author is a HUGE fan of Subliminal Video Messages Video Downloads

Lookin’ For Love In All The Wrong Places?

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

How would you like to have your very own personal relationship coach? Well guess what? That stuff costs a lot of money! Thankfully for you, you have a really nice substitute, and it won’t cost you an arm and a leg! These so-called personal relationship coaches come in the shape of an e-book rather than a real person, but don’t get the wrong idea, these books are just as good if not better than a real individual. Every single inquiry, concern, or fear you have is handled in this book. Searching for a new beloved? Waiting to get back with your ex? Trying to figure out what went wrong in your last kinships? It’s all right here in this e-book! If you have ever asked yourself the following inquiries, you should seriously consider looking into this product!

- How can I get my ex back?

- How can I get my girlfriend back?

- How can I get my boyfriend back?

- How can I get my wife back?

- How can I get my husband back?

This e-book is especially created for getting your ex back but like I said above it can also be used for everything else. Personally I think the creators of this e-book did a good thing when they chose to integrate different needs for various individuals because not everyone desires to get back with their ex, and not everyone wants to move on! So really they published this book for a various number of people in all sorts of unique situations. So exactly what is included in this book? Well let’s see there’s an e-book, an e-guide, 2 MP3 Cd’s, and another guide book, the products listed beneath are what is enclosed with this lovely bundle along with a little description to help you determine if this is the package for you or not!

The Acclaimed Strategic system for Getting Your Ex Back - This is an incredible scientific system for recognizing your “damage points” and identifying what needs to be done to address them. You will be able to discover what is missing in your relationship, what is causing the troubles and misinterpretations, and what you will need to do to show to your ex that he or she is not complete without you!

The Established Step-by-Step Love Guide - This love manual contains complete step-by-step instructions on how to get your partner or loved one back in your life again and make your relationship stronger than ever.

Proficient MP3 Audio Instruction - Easily utilized, this is the best way to pick up these brilliant maneuvers which will make you a master at relationships.

Powerful Psychological Triggers & Seductive Phrases - Are you ready for the best love phrases and terms ever? This segment is completely bursting with beautiful and touching phrases that could melt the coldest heart. Whether you need to ask for a second chance, explain how you feel, or show the strength of your love.

101 ways to mess up everything CD - Find Out what not to do in a relationship!

Relationship Salvager - If you have already broken up with your spouse it is not too late, thanks to our Relationship Salvager system! There are still ways to win them back!

Needless to say it has everything you would ever need! If this sounds like something you would like to purchase or would like to know more information about, it’s a good idea to visit your local search engine and look there for more information and prices on this really functional package!

This author is a HUGE fan of Get Back With Your Ex

Should You Battle For Love?

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

There are so many reasons lovers break up and so many people who have gone through at least one breakup. Some are actually a good thing. Some are not! If you have ever been down this road, whether you caused the split or it was done to you, then you know it can be a very emotional time. I know a friend who just went through a very heart breaking separation and it did not seem like there was any hope for her and the man she was engaged with for several years. First off, if you are engaged for several years that already should put a flag up, someone is afraid of commitment. Another flag should go up if you argue so much that you spend more time giving the silent treatment than actually conversing with your lover. Besides, the silent treatment is probably the biggest tip that there is a serious problem with your relationship and if you plan on fixing it, then you better figure out a way to fight for it now.

Back to my friend, she was so heart broken that she couldn’t sleep, eat or even sit and talk with anyone because her mind was so wrapped around her sorrow. I assisted her in searching online for some tips or answers and seeing if there was anyway to get someone else’s perspective on how to get over a breakup. There was more information out there then either of us ever suspected. We found some amazing stories and even though it didn’t seem that some of these couples were ever going to make it, they all seemed to testify that it was possible. So as her best friend, who hated to see her in such pain, I helped her to find some books and information that zeroed in on what she needed to win back her man.

Before beginning this, we definitely were ready to blame the man and figure he was the one that was making all the mistakes. But after our research and some heart wrenching tears, we discovered that it was both of their faults and there was so many ideas on what they could both do to heal this relationship. Actually, after reading this book and going over all the information with her, I am ready to get into a serious relationship myself. I know now that there is a way to teach people how to make love work and when it is not working you can and should fight for it.

My friend did get back with her man; who is now her husband! It also taught him how to commit among so many other things to make their love last. So battle for your love and if it is meant to be, it will be.

This author is a HUGE fan of How To Get Back With Your Ex E-book by Hilary Hart

Broken Heart Syndrome And How To Get Over It!

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

Just when you get used to the idea of having someone around, the most unasked for thing happens. A silly argument or a silly cat fight and next thing you know, you are left in the cold all by yourself. How did this happen? What changed so suddenly? The sad realization - that all lovers have to realize sooner or later is that no one is perfect. Though at first the charm, the good looks and the sparkle in the eye overwhelms one to a point where one thought it couldn’t get any better, one quickly learns that that is not always the case. Those emotions and feelings will not always be there. Things change.

Unfortunately a lot of people have experienced broken hearts and break ups, and whats even more unfortunate is when people think they have to go through this alone and that nothing nor no one will ever make this situation better or mend your broken heart. For those of us that have had our hearts broken in the past we know that yes, it certainly does leave a hole in your heart, even after a few years. But, the hole does get smaller with time, and your heart will start to mend once again. I went through a really horrible experience a few years back, I was in love with this really incredible person (or so I thought) and then suddenly out of no where they just broke my heart into a million tiny pieces. Its still bothersome to this day, and I do hold a certain amount of pain and resentment towards that person, but my heart has healed finally. It took a long time for me though, and many others.

I can only wonder if I had one of these e-books when I went through my situation, if maybe it would have taken less time to get over them. Ill never know, but if you are reading this right this very second, you could potentially know if these books really do help. You have the chance I didn’t, so make sure you do something about it! Take the time to visit some of these websites and see the different products that they offer. One really nice thing about these sites is that they are incredibly informational, second nice thing is that it wont cost you a ton of money! In most cases I have seen these e-books guides on websites for less than $50, now that is a price worth taking.

These books include tips on how to get over your ex, tips on how to heal your heart and forgive your lover, and most importantly how to get out of the rut you are in right now, and get back to living life and loving life! All is not lost, you simply have to pick yourself up off the floor and realize that life as we know it is not over, in fact its just begun. Find out more information now by visiting Google.

This author is a HUGE fan of Hillary Hart reveals how to get back with your ex

Step-by-Step Love Guide Available!

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

When I first heard about these guides I really thought they were a bunch of BS, I mean really what could you possibly learn from reading one of these guides that you didn’t already know!?! Well the latest statistics claim roughly 60% of marriages end in divorce. If a bond such as marriage can be broken I would hate to even know the percentage rate for people just breaking up and being boyfriend/girlfriend! Break ups happen for all sorts of reasons but the most general reason is simple because the couple doesn’t understand each other and this in turn causes a lot of unneeded fighting! So, what if you could fix this? What if you could find a way to communicate your feelings to your partner? Well, this is partly what these love guides are for! Here’s a few other things you might be asking yourself, and if you are you might want to consider trying one of these love guides:

Things are tough right now, can we really repair the damage?
I have already broken up with my lover, can I get them back?
I am having a hard time moving on after a bad break up, what can I do?
I just don’t know how to act towards the opposite sex, is there hope for me?

If you are wondering about any of the things listed above, or any other things for that matter, these love guides just may be the golden key to fix the problems you are having right now. So exactly what is included in this book? Well let’s see there’s an e-book, an e-guide, two MP3 Cd’s, and another guide book, the products listed below are what is included with this lovely package along with a little description to help you decide if this is the package for you or not!

The Widely Acclaimed Strategical system for Getting Your Ex Back - This is an incredible scientific system for recognizing your “damage points” and identifying what needs to be done to address them. You will be able to discover what is missing in your relationship, what is causing the problems and misunderstandings, and what you will need to do to prove to your ex that he or she is not complete without you!

The Official Step-by-Step Love Guide - This love manual contains complete step-by-step instructions on how to get your spouse or loved one back in your life again and make your relationship stronger than ever.

Expert MP3 Audio Instruction - Easily applied, this is the best way to pick up these brilliant tactics which will make you a master at relationships.

Powerful Psychological Triggers & Seductive Phrases - Are you ready for the best love phrases and terms ever? This section is completely bursting with beautiful and heartwarming phrases that could melt the coldest heart. Whether you need to ask for a second chance, explain how you feel, or show the strength of your love.

101 ways to mess up everything CD - Learn what not to do in a relationship!

Relationship Salvager - If you have already broken up with your spouse it is not too late, thanks to our Relationship Salvager system! There are still ways to win them back!

If your having problems, any various amounts of problems, this is the perfect type of book for you! I have actually had some free previews of books such as these from the sellers, and they really aren’t all “cheese” there is some really great information in here to help you or your lover out. It really is a relationship/therapist in a box, except it’s a whole lot cheaper, lemme tell ya! If you don’t take a look at these packages you really are missing out on something superb!

This author is a HUGE fan of Hillary Hart reveals how to get back with your ex

Relationship Success: Getting the Love by Finding the Safe Harbors from Life’s Storms

Monday, October 6th, 2008

When I was about 12, I watched one of the old Clint Eastwood westerns where he plays the role of the hardened cowboy: Very little emotional expression, very few words, a tough-as-nails attitude, an occasional fight, some woman to fall in love with him and then, at the end, he leaves town to ride off and disappear into the horizon of solitude.

I thought this was what real men were like and, without truly realizing it, I subconsciously took on this image.

Somewhere in my early thirties I couldn’t quite figure out why I felt so alone and disconnected from others. That’s when I realized what I’d done, and I decided to let my inner-cowboy go into retirement. Ever since then I’ve felt more exposed and vulnerable than ever before, but it’s totally acceptable considering the amount of love that I now feel as well.

Ego…Pride…Image. Time and time again I see how these three dynamics interfere with people’s well-being and the development of healthy support systems.

There are some erroneous rumors floating around which suggest mis-truths such as, “I am weak if I need others’ support” or “Other people don’t want to hear about my stuff” or “I shouldn’t have to ask for help.”

If you’ve heard these rumors, perhaps you should listen to this new rumor (which I take full responsibility for starting): “You get no extra points for trying to be super-human and trying to do everything by yourself. You actually show more strength and courage for taking the risk of making yourself vulnerable by asking for help.”

The truth is you’ll all get much farther in life if you have a team you can rely on to support and encourage you, as well as people to help you see your (hmmmm, how shall I put this?) B.S.: Your Blind-Spots. We can all stand to be reminded by others when they see our B.S. arise.

Getting Lit-Up: Plugging Into Your Supportive Communities

Developing an effective support system is the same as building any other type of relationship: You have to know exactly what you’re looking for and the more specific you are, the higher the likelihood you have in creating a truly solid and reliable system.

You have to know those absolutely, positively, got-to-have qualities (your deal-makers) to create the support system you want and need. You have the opportunity for the people who meet all these qualifications to be part of your inner circle, or as I like to call it, your personal posse.

What is it specifically you need from your inner circle? Trustworthiness? Honesty? Directness? Empathetic listening? Feedback without judgment?

The more clear and specific you are about what you need, the easier it’ll be for you to find the people who’ll make up your personal posse.

There’s an obvious flip-side to these requirements as well. You must know what’s absolutely intolerable (your deal-breakers) since you’ll be counting on these individuals to function as your personal board of directors (with you as CEO, founder, creator, and owner).

Make a list of the traits and characteristics you require and refer to it as your “recipe for a successful support system.” Make another list of these unacceptable traits, and feel free at any time to demote anyone who demonstrates any of these unacceptable standards.

I’m often asked, “Where do I find people for my support network?”

With your list of requirements and knowing what you want and need, you can begin asking yourself where people of these qualities and traits are likely to appear.

Truth is they may appear anywhere at anytime, but there are probably certain venues where you are more likely to find them. If, for example, you are looking to add spiritual guidance to your support network you would be wise to go to events and communities that would appeal to those individuals who value and practice spirituality.

The more clearly you define what you are looking for, the easier it will be to find it. And, like everything in your life: If you don’t know what you are looking for, how will you ever possibly find it?

Ken Donaldson has been offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His programs are focused on empowering people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships. Claim your FREE Relationship Success Special Report at Marry YourSelf First!. Ken is the author of Marry YourSelf First! Saying “I DO” to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose.

Relationship Strategies 101: Accountability Circles, Peer-Leaders and Your Personal Posse

Monday, October 6th, 2008

If you already know about support groups and how to start building your support network, then here we’ll talk into the groups you will want to develop for yourself to hold you accountable, celebrate your wins, and keep you on track.

One of the three groups I suggest is your accountability circle. The purpose of this group is to hold you accountable to your commitments. Ever notice how much more you accomplish when you’ve committed to someone else? That’s the power of accountability.

The people (which could be a few as one other person) in your accountability circle can be used to check in with, as well as help problem solve any obstacles which could come between you and your desired goals. Your accountability partners are also the people who will get-in-your-face and kick-you-in-the-butt if your stubbornness, resistance and/or laziness happen to rise to the surface.

Another group which carries tremendous power is your peer-leader group. These are individuals whose main function is to celebrate your accomplishments, much like your own personal cheerleader. You have a prearranged agreement with them to celebrate your wins.

You’re no different than the rest of us with your need for positive reinforcements for your efforts and accomplishments. Your peer leaders are the people in your network you can always rely on for these needs. Every time you have put forth effort to accomplish any of your goals, contact one of these individuals to celebrate your efforts.

The third group is your personal posse, or your inner circle. These are the people who know you inside out, upside down, backward and forward.

They know your strengths, weaknesses, dreams, failures, accomplishments and desires. They may actually, at times, know you better than you know yourself and they’re always able to see the blind-spots (B.S.) you don’t see.

The primary purpose of your personal posse is to give you a place of unconditional safety so you can be totally transparent. Your personal posse looks out for you and protects you. However, paradoxically at the same time, they also are the people who are going to lovingly call on you to be your biggest and best self. They won’t settle for anything less than your best.

In addition, your personal posse may do some scouting for you.

Since these individuals know you better than anyone else, they should know exactly what you want in your life - your absolutes and bottom lines, your deal-makers and deal-breakers, and your wants and desires.

They can help find you the missing pieces you’re searching for, be it in your world of work, relationships or even in the further development of your support network.

There are also other highly valuable networks and communities which can be highly beneficial to you. Mastermind groups and brainstorming sessions can be of great use when you want a problem solved or want to create a breakthrough to a new level in your life or business. These are very focus oriented gatherings and may not be quite as personal as your other networks.

Again, all of these networks and communities take time to develop.

Avoid the complaint of not being able to find such people. Instead, try some new approaches. Like anything else in life, if you make a 100% commitment to creating these networks and communities, you’ll surely find the people and develop the corresponding groups.

Start groups yourself if you can’t find already established ones. Examine the people who participate and determine which of your support networks they might be best suited for. And be prepared to give back in an equal proportion.

The goal is to create a system of people who’ll support, challenge, encourage, confront and love you towards your greatest self. They’ll help you stay 100% committed to yourself. They’ll help you stay married to yourself, and in doing so, live your life of passion, purpose, power and prosperity.

Ken Donaldson has been offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His programs are focused on empowering people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships. Claim your FREE Relationship Success Special Report at Marry YourSelf First!. Ken is the author of Marry YourSelf First! Saying “I DO” to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose.

Relationship Success Tips: About Accountability Circles, Peer-Leaders and Your Personal Posse

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

Have you ever noticed that every successful person has a team with whom they surround themselves?

For example, the head coach of any sports team has countless assistants and trainers. Every CEO has a board of directors. Of course, the President has his cabinet, as well as numerous other advisors and consultants.

And what about you? Who is in your cabinet? Who are your assistant coaches? And who is on your board of directors? Do you have anybody?

One big reason people have difficulty accomplishing their goals is they try to do all the work on their own. In other words, they try to do everything in a vacuum, all by themselves, and without outside assistance.

Remember: You do not get any extra points for doing life all by yourself! In fact, you are far less likely to accomplish what you really want in life by trying to do it all by yourself. It’s time for you to give up the fear, or ego, or pride, or whatever it is that’s stopped you from reaching out to others. It’s time to rely on the power of the group.

There is an ancient and highly revered saying which states, “Whenever two or more are gathered, there I will be.”

This refers to the spiritual intervention of The Divine when there is a group. (A group constitutes anything more than one person).

There’s synergy in a group, 1 + 1 = 11, and they have exponential power. The energy level of the group as a whole is always more than the sum of the individual member’s energy levels.

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. This is synergy.

There’s automatically more power for you to access when you rely on the power of the group.

There are three distinct support groups for you to seriously consider when growing your support network. But before you get started on building or adding to your support network, there are a few points I’d like to make.

First, the entirety of your support network is always going to be a work in progress. People will come in and out, at various levels, for various reasons and lengths of time. It’s your responsibility to keep yourself circulating so you’re able to bring in new people as other people leave.

Another point to remember is these support networks take time to develop, so be aware of your expectations. Many times I’ve heard people say “there’s no one out there” to support them.

The minute you start to say this is the minute you’ll start to believe it and manifest this lack into existence. Keep trying new tactics, new venues and new people if your old strategies aren’t working to your satisfaction.

What’s also important is reciprocity. If you want a support network, then be willing to be part of other’s support networks as well. It’s truly one the highest honors you can receive when someone asks you to be part of their life in this way.

Before you try to figure out where to find these people or why you haven’t been able to find them in the past, let me give you some tools to use.

First, here’s an example. If you were looking for polka dancers who liked to collect stamps and practice yoga, where would you go to begin to look for such individuals? Would you go out looking for a polka-dancing, stamp-collecting, yoga-practicing group? If you did you’d probably feel quite frustrated as it’s highly unlikely such a specific group exists.

However, it’d be wise to check out polka dancing groups and stamp collecting groups and yoga practicing groups. You’re likely to find people who have some common interests, values and goals at any of these three groups because there is already an obvious common denominator.

Furthermore, it’s important to keep updated and informed of new, upcoming events which interest you. Check the paper and local periodicals, as well as online calendars of events. These are venues where you’ll have a higher likelihood of meeting some like-minded people.

Also, it’s very possible you may meet someone in your everyday travels when you aren’t even intentionally looking for someone. That’s all part of being open, being aware, knowing what and who you are looking for, living by the Law of Attraction and being in Right Action.

Ken Donaldson has been offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His programs are focused on empowering people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships. Claim your FREE Relationship Success Special Report at Marry YourSelf First!. Ken is the author of Marry YourSelf First! Saying “I DO” to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose.

Making Money Online Without Being Scammed

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

When you browse the internet it is often than not that you would get ads of making money online. You would even see that in forums this is the topic that is most popular. Now when you click on those ads or try to find informations over the internet, what you would get are sites with lots of promises. Now beware of these you do not want to be a victim of yet another online scam that would strip you off with your hard earned cash.

Who would not want to make quick money online? Of course we all want that much more we wanted to spend lots of time with our family and live a life that is comfortable without worries of bills to be paid. And this is what these scammers are targeting at, they know our soft spots and they use those weaknesses to attract us.

Here are some of the tips that I have gathered so that we will not be victims of these scams and be able to make money online.

In looking for a program that can help you make money online be sure that they have already build a good reputation in this business. Search for real testimonials from forums and read what other users have to say about the program. Next check if they offer money back guarantee. Another thing is do know the features being offered by the program, you would not want to end up with only an e-book download. Now if they are offering a training with members in mind, giving skills and strategies that you need and not just information that can be gathered for free over other websites. Ask, Are they updating their system? You might fall to a program that has an outdated information chances are they gathered it from other websites as well.

Now once you have these in mind, then you can get started in choosing a right program to assist you in making money online. To reap great income in this field, be sure to learn every ins and outs of this career. Learn everything that you can learn. Once you absorb the knowledge, then build the skills by practicing, and this includes spending time.

Determination is of grave importance to make money online. At first it seems that you are working for nothing, but then as you build up your career, you would find out that everything will come to you easily.

So again beware of scammers and choose wisely, do not let yourselves be fooled. Who knows maybe after a few months you are already making quick money online.

Learn how you can generate well over $10,000/month online via Profit Lance internet marketing course. The only IM course online featured on CNN Money, Forbes, Oprah, and Personal Money. See more on Profit Lance reviews.

Relationship Success Strategies: Chooser Versus Choosee And The Power of Choice

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

Are you letting people influence your life in a way that’s negative? Do you isolate yourself out of fear of getting hurt? Are you clear about acceptable and unacceptable behavior in others? Are you happy with your boundaries?

Review the following list of unhealthy boundaries. Check off any which sound familiar or strike a chord. If you relate to some of them, you know you have some work to do on setting healthier boundaries.

Unhealthy Boundaries:

1. You have no boundaries.
2. You allow others to intrude your boundaries.
3. You allow others to touch, act and speak inappropriately toward you.
4. You allow others to take advantage of your time, your space, your body and/or your energy.
5. You give away too much of yourself.
6. You allow others to define who you are and direct your life.
7. You violate your personal integrity to please others.
8. You tell too much about yourself too quickly.
9. You allow sexual contact when you don’t want it.
10.You fall in love too quickly with almost anyone who shows you any attention.
11.You expect others to anticipate what you want and need.
12.You expect others to define your needs and values.
13.You expect others to fill your wants and needs.
14.You violate your integrity by allowing others to abuse you.
15.You abuse yourself through negative behaviors, e.g., overeating, over-drinking, drug use, unsafe sex or others.

You can strengthen your boundaries and it all starts with choosing to be the chooser.

Chooser versus Choosee: The Power of Choice

Chooser and choosee: Run them through your word-processing program, and you’re likely to have them rejected by your spell-check. Why? Because chooser, although in Webster’s Dictionary, is a seldom used term; and choosee is not even a word in our language. Regardless of the linguistic validity and frequency of these words, the dynamics and pay-offs of your being either the chooser or the choosee are huge.

When you’re the chooser, you live a powerful life of choice. You know who you are, what’s important, what’s allowed or not, and what’s healthy. When you live by choice, you never settle.

On the other hand the choosee gives their power away and allows others to make their choices for them.

The choosee is different from being chosen. In being chosen by another you still have clarity about what is and is not acceptable. The choosee settles and is often in a very dependent relationship.

Using three empowering dynamics of choice will give you the power to create and live the life of your choice.

The first dynamic is boundaries. When you know what’s acceptable and what’s not, you have clear boundaries. When you have clear boundaries, choice-making is easy because you know what does and doesn’t work for you.

The next dynamic is values. Knowing what’s important to you is synonymous with knowing your values. When you live and choose in accordance with your values, you live in integrity and wholeness.

The third and final dynamic is balance. When you live with a commitment to a balanced lifestyle, you have an awareness which helps you make healthy choices. Many health issues (both physical and emotional) are caused by a lack of balance. By choosing to have life balance awareness, you live a powerful and healthy life.

Boundaries, values, and balance are the essential cornerstones of your empowering, choice-making life.

Choose to be the Chooser! Remember: Setting boundaries is the first step; keeping and maintaining them is the real challenge.

Ken Donaldson has been offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His programs are focused on empowering people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships. Claim your FREE Relationship Success Special Report at Marry YourSelf First!. Ken is the author of Marry YourSelf First! Saying “I DO” to a Life of Passion, Power and Purpose.

Letting Go And Moving On

Sunday, September 28th, 2008

Letting go of the old is one of the hardest things in the world for most human beings. Letting go of old worn-out habits, old ineffective thought patterns, old routines that just don’t fit anymore, old impressions of places or people that are now no longer useful, old feelings that are emotional scars that will not heal and get in the way of progress, are all things that most people when reading of them nod their heads and agree should be thrown away like an old ratty security blanket from childhood. Yet, how few of those people really would throw away or learn past these things! Most would just continue holding on to them.

Change–which is the one constant in the universe and in life–is quite a frightening thing for most people. Not small changes, for small changes are so common to our everyday experience that we even take them for granted. We take for granted that the sky will change and it will be lighter today and darker tonight, or if it is cloudy today it will be sunny in a day or two.

We even take for granted some longer-term changes; we know that we were shorter and weaker when we were five than we are now, and we know that the short, weak five-year-old before us will one day grow into a taller, stronger woman or man. There are even some sad changes that we take for granted: if we have a pet dog we know that one day that dog will grow old and die. We don’t like to think of that day and so we rarely do, but we know it’s going to happen and we don’t lose sleep over it.

But there are other norms that we cling to with a quiet desperation, and anything that threatens to change them we feel threatens us. The thing of it is, all of these changes have to do with things that are within us. They might be embodied in outward circumstances, such as our careers or homes, but even then they have to do with what we feel we are as a soul, a personality.

There is one thing that most adults fear more than death or, it seems, even physical torture. And that “thing” is being wrong. It is this fear of being wrong that prevents us, most of the time, from letting go of the old. Too many times, when we are about to let go of the old we feel that we are admitting to having been wrong (and the assumption that there’s something shameful about being wrong is itself a negative, false assumption).

You see, we feel as if we have invested just way too much time and energy to learn and figure out what we believe we have. We have, therefore, an overwhelmingly powerful emotional investment in what we think we know–our ways of doing stuff, our priorities, our beliefs, our feelings about people and places and things.

The ego, which is rightly the gatekeeper to our spirit, says to us, “Wait a minute! You’re thinking about changing your ways with this? You’re getting ready to change your mind about that? Don’t you remember when that certain event happened to you that proved to you that the way you’ve been doing things since then works? You’re safe! Why change? It could be very dangerous!”

But the ego forgets that change is the only constant in life. It forgets that the past is dead; only the here and now is real. We can let go of the old when we find that it’s no longer useful, or it gets in the way of a new level of achievement, or our circumstances have changed. It is natural for us to let go of the old; for as children we do so with ease. But as we get older, we become a little more and a little more expected to have permanent knowledge of stuff.

Our society values our pride in thinking we know everything. Instead, we can and must learn to take pride in being fearless about making mistakes, changing, seeing a new perspective, letting go of the old, and reveling in the endless journey the end of which is not an arrival but an evolution into ever-new possibilities.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth-reviews.com, a site that provides reviews of products and services for self improvement and personal growth and development.

The Paradox Of An Attitude Of Gratitude

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

The attitude of gratitude is a terribly overlooked aspect of manifesting your dreams and desires. When you feel gratitude for all the good that you have in your life, without even making any efforts you are throwing open wide the doors to bring even more abundance of good things into your life.

An attitude of gratitude is like a magnet, charging up your life to receive blessings and abundance. Have you ever heard the phrase, “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer”? Well, needless to say that is always said as some kind of indictment of the rich–those who have abundance. It’s a statement of jealousy and it’s one that is supposed to impart to the listener how “unjust” life is. But as a matter of fact, that statement unwittingly expresses a great and perfectly “just” cosmic law. On the surface, it seems very unfair; but scratch the surface and you’ll find simple natural laws and natural energy working according to, well, their nature.

The rich, the wealthy, those with abundance, are grateful. Those who are poor are not. Now, you will likely say, “Of COURSE that’s how it is! The wealthy are grateful for their good luck, while the poor certainly don’t have anything to be grateful for!”

But are the wealthy lucky? Not usually. Usually they have worked from the ground up to get their fortune. And even when they have started with “a silver spoon in their mouth”, they have had to learn what to do with their money to make sure they keep it. It’s not nearly as simplistic as those with less money assume–and that’s exactly why they have less money!

You see, most people get the cause and effect backwards here. They assume that the fortune, the “good luck”, comes first, and then comes the gratitude. Without the good fortune, no gratitude. Wrong.

It is the gratitude that attracts more good fortune!

You can cultivate an attitude of gratitude to help you get more abundance in your life by keeping journal. Get yourself a very nice blank journal–not some spiral bound notebook. Every day, write down at least five things you are grateful for. Now, every day is different; not all days are as good as others. When you have a bad day, just write down the most basic things; you are grateful to have your place to live; you are grateful for the food you ate that day; you are grateful for your dog; etc. It doesn’t matter if you’ve written these things down before–all good things are worth repeating. As you feel yourself growing more grateful for what you have, you’ll suddenly be amazed one day when you have more!

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth-reviews.com, a site that provides reviews of products and services for self improvement and personal growth and development.

Are You Looking For Advice Websites Online?

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008

I’m amazed every single day at the pure amount of advice websites there are online, it’s absolutely astounding. I don’t think anyone should even have problems because these websites are everywhere and they give advice about everything and anything you would ever want advice about. I just found one the other day and they gave you advice about things such as:

Health - For information on problems or issues about your body and mind, this is the place! There is also some really great advice on how to take care of your body, eat healthy and stay fit!

Friends - Are your friends making you confused, mad, sad, or happy? Work out a solution to all your friendship problems with the answers to your most common issues.

Family - Not getting along with your family? Having problems at home? Well, read some of the most recent questions and you will get some good advice to help you improve your home life.

School - Are you having a hard time at school? Struggling with work or to make friends? All your questions and concerns are answered here!

College or University - Worried about leaving the nest? Struggling with college courses or making ends meet? Read this advice section on how to manage college or university and still have fun.

Dating - If love is in the air, here’s loads of hints, tips and advice on how to make sure your love life goes on without a hitch!

These sites also include more topics of advice including work, bullying, helplines, abuse and much more. Needless to say, these websites are the best websites to go to if you need help with something. No problem is too big or too small! If you want to, all this can be completely confidential, just sign up with the website using your real email address but “anonymous” information.

These sites are pretty easy to work with, just click on the advice section you want, and you will see either “search for topics” or “make your own question” or you can even take a look at people that have already posted questions, this is a good idea anyway, because then you can see you are not alone in the problem you are having, and plenty of other people are in the same exact boat as you. In other words, don’t worry if your problem is embarrassing, scary or just plain horrible. Chances are there is someone on earth, going through the same exact problem as you! These are terrific communities to get involved with no matter who you are, where you are, or how old you are.

This author is a HUGE fan of Dating Advice and Relationship Advice

Do You Have A Retirement Plan?

Friday, September 19th, 2008

There is no guarantee that you would live only ten years after you retire. Now imagine by chance you survive more what would you do? No work and you blew away all your savings. The best way to handle this situation is to make a retirement plan. Government pensions would only help you with bare necessities of life but if you wish to live life according to your terms you got to make a systematic retirement planning.

The problem with this era is that most us are often carried away with the notion of living for the moment. We indulge in buying the latest gadget and technologies. There are so many opportunities to spend money that it’s difficult to keep a portion away for retirement.

There comes a bolt from the blue when you realize that you’re standing at the threshold of sixty and haven’t yet planned anything for your retirement.

The youth have the opportunity to learn from the mistakes made by their elders. They have the advantage of using the latest technology such as the online web service as well as private and government investment adviser to look for valuable help. They also need to be careful while choosing an adviser, make sure that it is a reputed firm.

There have been instances where people have lost their life’s saving trying to invest it with the help of the wrong adviser. So be carefully that you don’t get duped.

There are many ways in which you can save up for your post retirement life. You can be benefited from government superannuation schemes to employee pension plans. You may also buy real estate and invest your money in blue chip companies, but do avoid involving into speculative investing.

An important piece of information for all those who wish to invest that is please make sure that you do have various investment schemes. This would be helpful; if one fails you have another investment plan to back you.

In case you need an alternative to this retirement plan then I would say that as long as you are young spend the money and enjoy.

Some of us may just shrug our shoulders when it comes to all these planning, but unfortunately when reality would set into their life they would just be panic stricken. You would consider yourself lucky if you own a house, sell it for something cheap or leave with your kids. Another option would be a mobile home.

Selling the house would help you to free your equity and you kid enjoy the investment return from other investments.

Now to it is completely your decision as to how you would lead your life. As you reach this stage you would realize that how important it is for you. Do not leave it for the end, plan it now. Let not the knell ring at the age of sixty. With a little effort in your youth you may lead a comfortable old age.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of Be Successful News Reviews, a site that provides reviews on products and services relating to how to succeed in your own home or small business.

How Playing the Worst Case Scenario Game Can End Procrastination

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

Disorganized desks, closets, garages, and file cabinets are often not what they seem. The procrastinator fixates on cleaning or clearing out some space, but that is not the primary problem. It is the symbol of another deeper issue. Over the years I have helped people discover the sometimes sad or frightening concern that lies at the heart of their procrastination.

Doris was so fed up with her messy desk that she finally sought my help. No matter how many times she promised herself that she would clean it up and clean it out she found lots of other things that came first. “It’s not a big desk. I should be able to finish the job in a few hours,” she whined. I proceeded to play the What If game with Doris in order to get to the bottom of her problem.

“What are you afraid will happen if you clean up your desk?” I asked. “I’ll feel better,” she replied. That is what procrastinators usually say. “Then what are you afraid will happen?” “It will look better.” “And then what are you afraid will happen?” “I’ll have time to clean out the book case.” I pushed and pushed asking, “and then what are you afraid will happen?” after each of her comebacks until the light dawned. “If I clean up my desk I’ll have to clean up my life, and I’ll have to divorce my husband,” she exclaimed. Where did that come from? What does a messy desk have to do with marriage?

I call this thinking process “logrolling.” Logrolling is a term used in politics to describe how politicians trade votes for their mutual benefit. For instance, if the Senator from one state needs support for his bill about improving transportation, he may contact the Senator from another state who proposes a bill about farming. They create one piece of legislation that includes both transportation and farming and push it through, although these two areas have nothing to do with each other.

When procrastinators unconsciously link together two problems that are totally dissimilar they become paralyzed and unable to solve either one. Jessica constantly complained that she couldn’t find the perfect man and was depressed. She had been divorced for five years, and her ex-husband was happily re-married, yet Jessica still had some of his clothing in her closet.

She desperately wanted to clean out the closet but couldn’t get around to it. It turned out that her unconscious wish was that her ex would come back to her, and she kept this possibility alive by symbolically keeping some of his belongings. Once she realized that a closet had nothing to do with grieving for the loss of her marriage, she was able to get rid of his things and restore order to her closet.

Ted remodeled his entire house, but six months later still had not put the knobs on the kitchen cabinets. He was exasperated and angry with himself for shirking the job. After he finished his tale of woe I insisted on asking him the What If questions. After a few rounds there was a long pause. Then Ted said, “If I complete my house I won’t have any more excuses to not invite people over and socialize.” “And then what are you afraid will happen,” I insisted. He realized why he was dragging his feet when he blurted out, “Then I will have to get married again!” The irrationality of this way of thinking is mind boggling, yet all of us do it at some time.

One way to push past your stuckness is to play the What If game with yourself or have a friend grill you. Go to a quiet place where you can be free of interruptions. Ask yourself this question, “What am I afraid will happen if I complete this project or reach my goal?” Write or say out loud the first thing that comes to mind. Don’t judge yourself on your answer. Ask again, making sure you use the word “afraid,” because that is what this is all about.

Keep this up until you have run our of the easy answers like, “I will be happy” or “I will be healthy.” Eventually you’ll hit pay dirt. The answer that springs to mind may have nothing to do with the project you are dawdling over. That is the point. Desks don’t have anything to do with marriage and kitchens don’t have anything to do with commitment. It’s all just logrolling.

Gloria Arenson, MFT, treats stress, anxiety, trauma, phobias, and compulsions. She has authored How to Stop Playing the Weighting Game, A Substance Called Food, Born To Spend, Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing, Freedom At Your Fingertips and Procrastination Nation.
http://www.GloriaArenson.com

Driving Road Test Tips For You to Pass the First Time

Monday, September 15th, 2008

There’s a time in everybody’s life when it’s time to get their license. Okay so wait, we know that not everybody get’s their license, but it’s fair enough to say that a lot of people do. One of the great things about the internet today is the fact of being able to find good information. An example of this would be driving road test tips. Now is your chance to be able to ease your mind knowing that you are receiving great information to help you past your driving test. These tips and tricks are here to provide you the necessary information that you need in order to pass your test.

Having these tests online are only going to better prepare you. In fact you are able to find driving road test tips that will provide you with all of the proper information you need. Some will show you the correct way to drive, others may quiz you on laws that regard to driving. These tests are available to everybody no matter where you live. How many of us have heard the horror stories regarding driving instructors? I know I have. I’ve probably heard it all, you know the ones. My driver failed me for no reason, my driver failed me because I didn’t look in my mirror long enough, I passed my test but my driver practically threw the paper at me. These stories are just that, stories. The best thing you can do is make sure that you are prepared.

You know how when you go for a job interview one of the best first impressions you can make is by showing up early? Well the same thing applies when you go to get your license. Make sure that you are prepared, make sure that you know the information and that you have practiced your skills enough to allow yourself to feel confident. Sure it’s stressful and a little scary having the eyes of a ‘pro’ sitting there in the next seat judging you on everything you are doing. He or she is just there to ensure that you can drive safely and that you know how to obey traffic laws.

It’s estimated that around 50% of driver’s actually fail their driving test their first time out. However with driving road test tips you will be prepared to pass your test the first time out. Take the time before your test to do some research in your area to ensure that you know all of the rules. Be prepared and try not to let your instructor intimidate you. If you can accomplish all of these, you should pass with flying colors.

Are you about to get your license? Discover how you can ensure you pass the first time with the help of driving road test tips. Get complete details by visiting http://www.roadtesttips.com

The Empowering Beliefs Of Great Achievers

Saturday, September 13th, 2008

If you were able to pick the mind of some of the Great Achievers of our times, what do you think you would find? You would find a common belief that life is a manifestation based on less of what you do and more of what you think. While the old adage, “Action speaks louder than words,” is true to an extent, your thoughts are really much more powerful then anything you are doing. That grey matter between your ears controls so much more then many people realize.

“I think therefore I am,” should resonate deep down into your bones, and fill your heart and soul because it is this statement, this belief that will shape your life from here on out. It really isn’t just because Einstein, Jefferson, Wright brothers, Mozart or Michelangelo were smarter or more creative than us, they also know how to use their minds to create the life that they wanted.

That is the difference between a mediocre person and those great achievers; they have to learn to think the right way.

It does sound funny- “think the right way” -as if there is a way to think the wrong way. Well there is. If your mind is constantly occupied with negative thoughts then you are thinking the wrong way. Those negative thoughts that are filling your head are sending out a very powerful vibration into the universe.

Through the Law of Attraction, the universe brings back to you opportunities that have similar vibrations to what you are emitting, the whole “like attracts like.” You may be thinking thoughts such as “I will never fail,” which doesn’t seem very negative; the universe does not operate in positive and negatives it simply takes what you are thinking about, which in that statement is failure, and brings it to you.

The thought that should be in your head is ” I will succeed.” This does not leave room for anything other then success. Always think in the positive. This isn’t seeing the silver lining around the gray cloud anymore, this is only seeing that silver lining. If you leave room for doubt, it will move in and take up more space then what you had offered it.

The same holds true in business. You have to think positively about what you want to achieve. You will be a success, now picture that success in your head. Know exactly what that success means to you and what it entails and it will be yours.

If you encounter a problem or a failure, look at those as chances for you to grow and improve. Here is a list of 15 empowering beliefs that all high achievers have:

1. They like who they are, this gives them very high and healthy self esteem. You won’t get far if you do not believe in yourself.

2. They have a positive attitude. It is all about perception, the way you choose to look at things.

3. They understand that self destruction is not conducive to success.

4. They make every effort to be self aware so that they can release themselves from self imposed limitations. The only thing that stands in your way is you, just you!

5. They are on top of the thoughts that flow through their minds, making sure that they are positive and constructive.

6. They focus on what it is they are after, what they want to achieve and believe that it will manifest.

7. They have purpose.

8. They know their goals and know how to create the environment that will achieve them

9. They accept that the only person responsible for who and where they are is themselves. No one had the perfect life growing up, however great achievers know that they are responsible for how they live their life, not anyone else.

10. They let go. Holding on to negative thoughts isn’t going to help you. There isn’t anything that you can do about what happened in the past. You need to accept that it had happened; let go of it and take the steps to make sure you don’t repeat it again.

11. They are gracious for what they have.

12. They are determined and persistent.

13. They are realistic. If you are human, please know that you can’t work or force miracles. No matter how fast you are, the rainbow always disappear before you reach it.

14. They focus on the most valuable use of their time.

15. They surround themselves with other like-minded people, because collectively they are a stronger source of energy and a consistent reminder that they can succeed.

If you are doubting your ability, let’s be clear that it is not impossible for you to become a great achiever, you simply need to start thinking like one. If you are wondering what is stopping you from having the most successful business around, you are.

You are sitting there, looking around, going, “Money. Time. Planning. A place to run the business. Supplies,etc,” keep this in your mind: if you really want to be successful, you would set your mind to it and know that you can achieve your dreams. This empowering thought, this belief would erase every reason that you can list.

You are the key.

Mohamad Latiff is giving away his $997 Accelerated Wealth Attraction technology that is guaranteed to at least triple your wealth in 40 days or less using the Law of Attraction - FREE. Only at UltimateSecretsofSuccess.com.

Journey Into The Mind

Friday, September 12th, 2008

No matter how controversial hypnosis may be but if it is performed properly and fulfilling all the desired conditions it truly works. Hypnosis plays an important role in affecting vital areas of our lives. It is very influential when it comes to impacting areas such as smoking, weight gains to overcoming the shyness and to everything around us.

The process of hypnosis is like a journey into the inner realms of our mind. It teaches our mind that is subconscious, how to accept and maintain the changes.

A well reputed hypnotist or hypnotherapist can have a strong control over the mind and the imagination of the subject.

A trained professional can show it to you all the possibilities that hypnosis offers.

They may also provide you with the tools that may help you when your home. This may lead to a new found freedom.

You’re taught how to be inspired, how to create wellness and how to achieve true happiness and especially find joy in your present life.

Hypnosis works on the principal of altered state of mind. The other side of our present consciousness.

Let see how hypnosis affects us. For example if we are at a meeting and someone is talking to us but we find that our mind is no more at the present scenario, instead it’s somewhere else. It might be sitting next to a lake or water skiing.

The main work of hypnosis is to shift your focused attention to a trance like state. It keeps its door open for the subconscious mind to play an active role. This is later accepted with the change.

Hypnosis is even useful in the medical field with growing number of doctors that are taking keen interest. As the doctors are able to get into the mind of the patient and curb the disease. For example if a child is suffering from asthma then by hypnosis the frequent bouts of attack can be curbed. It’s important that hypnosis is done with help of trained personnel.

Hypnosis leaves behind a lot of positive outcomes. You see that you are able to concentrate better and respond better to stimuli. For hypnosis to work properly you have to accept it mentally. It affects the brain communicative skills and working ability with respect to the nerves impulses. It creates a state of deep relaxation and greater concentrations. You develop an ability to control over your emotions and behavior.

Self hypnosis in the beginning may have an opposite reaction. But accomplish the objective you need to horn your skills. On going practice will make the person more accurate. Self hypnosis will help you to deal with problems by working into your subconscious mind and overcoming your problem.

Self hypnosis needs a quite place, without the interruption from anyone and anywhere. Slowly you can go through all the difficulties and find solutions to the problems. You can keep working until you find a solution and find results. Both self hypnosis and hypnosis by professionals take time.

Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth-reviews.com, a site that provides reviews of products and services for self improvement and personal growth and development.

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